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Sunday, September 1, 2019

10 Questions You Must Ask Yourself As A Man Before You Get Married To A Lady By Rev Father Ben


Marriage is an institution they say, whereas institutions take not less than 4 years and above to master your discipline but marriage is just not taken as seriously as an institution even though it is a more complicated discipline, a man and a woman can meet in a space of one week or one month or one year and they want to settle down immediately. 

Suddenly they generate the need to get married out of nowhere and that is the problem we are having in marriages today, people do not prepare for marriage, people prepare for wedding. But before you get into marriage, here are the 10 questions you must sincerely ask yourself before getting into marriage;

1. At what age do you feel is right for you to get married?

2. What is your major source of income and how do your earnings thrive?

3. What is the girl’s age?

4. Do you the girl’s mother too well if she’s still alive, and have you had encounter with her? This question is important because her mother is her confidant, so you need to know the attitude of the person who your woman is entrusting her secrets to.

5. How long have I known this girl? Has it been mostly on the phone, have we actually stayed together for a while?

6. What is your natural liking that prompted you to want to propose marriage to her? Is it money, her beauty, her natural disposition, her work, her own wealth, her family background, her religiosity etc.?

7. What position is she in her family? Is she the first daughter, first child, last daughter, last child? How many siblings does she have?

8. Have you had any sexual contact with her? What is her sexual behaviour, which is what is her longing and appetite for sex?

9. What is in her about her anger? What is her metaphysical weakness, her porosity, what is the velocity of her anger? How does she express her anger, how does she manage her anger, is she the type that is suspicious always, is she Godly inclined?

10. This last one is an introspective question, how many years does it take a man to become an engineer? It takes about 5 years or so right? Now how many years does it take people to marry? Well the answer is that marriage doesn’t have any special duration for it to happen, it can occur at any time when the both couple think that they have had enough time to have mastered what it takes for them to be together, which might be about a week, a month, a year or ten years, it doesn’t matter.

That is the problem we are having today, people do not prepare for marriage, they prepare for marriage, once a man sees a woman, or a woman sees a man, then they want marriage now, even those who were once married but later became widows, forgetting that that thing called marriage is a serious business. If a medical doctor can spend 7 years in the university including houseman ship and youth service to operate on the human body, how much more two people from different background, different ideology, different rationality, different actuation and different pedagogy, it’s a food for thought.

There is no need to rush into marriage, if the pressure is coming from you as the man, just cool down, what will be will be, if the pressure is so much coming from her, then cool her down systematically. It is the course of that patience that you will see what you don’t know and what you wouldn’t have seen if you had rushed into the marriage, just allow the relationship to take its natural course because it is in nature we have God and in nature grace operates therefore, anything you are doing you must cooperate with the grace, and the grace is available for everybody, so its left for you to cooperate with the grace.

Patience is a virtue in finding a life partner, it is super metaphysical, it is beyond reasoning and comprehension, but yet it is that tool that reveals secrets even about yourself which you don’t know and about the lady which you don’t know too. There is what is called in psychology ‘The Joharis Window’; that is something I know which you know, there is something you know which I don’t know. Then there is something that I don’t know, you don’t know but somebody knows and that is God.

So as am saying, there are one thousand and one things which a husband doesn’t know about his newly married wife, and also the wife too doesn’t know about the husband too or about their families and your educational wisdom and certificate is not enough to bring it out, it is nature that will bring it out. When nature brings it out, as the gift of wisdom that God gave you, you will now know if you can now mechanize that thing which you found out, you will know if you can correct it, if you can tilt it, if you can panel beat it, but if you find out that it is too much and you cannot, then you walk.

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