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Tuesday, June 5, 2018

H Plus Questions And Answers Between Guys And Ladies About The Rise In Single Motherhood

rise in single mothers

We hosted a radio talk show on the topic: Why Are There More Rise And Rise In Single Motherhood? And the controversies between our guests (Men and Women) were recorded. The women were asking the questions while the men were answering them. Here are the questions below:

Q. Ladies: Are men raised to be intimidated by ladies, unsure, have double standards, not being humanly objective but flow with crowd mentality? All I see is men who are too afraid of women, while women seem strong because most men can’t hold their own views.

A. Guys: Some timid men are intimidated by successful and beautiful ladies, or should I use the word flashy girls. They consider these women dangerous, difficult to handle and unfit for marriage because they believe that their success gets into their heads, they believe that these women think that they have all they want and a man can’t offer them anything they want, and they only want to bear the tittle of a married woman. It always ends up with the thought of turning to a slave in their own home. In Africa men and women always believe that marriages and relationships always have to do with what the man can do for the woman, you will hear that in discussions, in songs, movies etc. There is a degree of truth in the way these timid men think, but the men who thought that they were bold enough to take these successful women were mostly the ones who live in regrets to tell the stories of how they failed in their lives. Men only want to be cautious with life until they are satisfied that they made the right decision.

Q. Ladies: Cautious with life! That thing you call cautious is the reason good and resourceful women keep waiting for men to toast them, after almost 40 they would just opt for having babies. Isn’t the world collapsing because men can’t go for what they really want? Can’t men have a heart like Prince Harry – go for your best and boldly get her shunning everyone?

A. Guys: Marriage is a life time contract, I can’t say because good and resourceful women keep waiting for men so let me rush into marrying her which might tomorrow turn sour and full of regrets. We are too selfish when it comes to our happiness and we are proud of that.

Q. Ladies: If a man is unsure of his life goal and can’t lead by taking action, nothing happens especially in the love- relationship-home circus, we women cry out in pain for men to rise, until then women and children whimper in pain.

A. Guys: Men eventually get married, it’s not like we never settle down, and whom we choose to settle with is our choice and we respect that, no matter how long we wait to settle is what we feel is best for us. Besides these generations of men are getting married earlier than some past generations, from 28 they have started thinking about settling down.

Q. Ladies: A woman who knows her self-worth is a global resource without limit and smart grounded men do not miss them because they know they can ‘husband’ them just like everything in their lives. This kind of man women seek often is a game-changer any day…He’s not perfect but is responsible for the outcome of his life.

A. Guys: A game changer! You mean a wealthy guy. Women’s idea of a so-called ‘game changer’ is a man who is successful, a man who commands respect from his peers, a man who can get whatever he wants with his money, of course money moves the earth, that is the only thing that makes women feel romantic. For so long women have placed a lot of burdens on men, but men are not going to accept the blame of women’s failure just because they can’t put their lives together to find themselves a decent man. A woman will shame a man just because he’s earning the same amount as her in the same office or even less, he’s not on the same level as she.

Q. Ladies: If a woman shames you as a man for earning the same amount as her in the same office or even shames you for earning less than her, then you are just lowering yourself by talking to such women. If you understand that what you earn doesn’t represent your life goals, then you’d look for women in a higher class. Why are you looking for women earning peanuts? Lol… You are too afraid.

A. Guys: And that will be the greatest mistake a guy will ever make thinking that he can cope with looking for women in a higher class in Africa. It applies only if they both grew successful together, but sometimes the woman leaves the man behind after she becomes more successful than him then she will start looking for ‘the game changer’ like you said in your previous question. Women are over-ambitious and they always outsmart men when it comes to playing the ambition games, then they only end up hitting brick wall. Many of these ‘women of high class’ have left one guy before somewhere in search of their ‘game changer’, and still in search after many years and yet still single and searching, while the men they left behind are already married with kids.

Q. Ladies: Most men do not want to learn, they think they can figure things out, so they keep walking around afraid within, not nearing good women but rather having sex with low class girls up and down. Then after a while they settle in marriage then continue searching and philandering. After they die with loads of regret, the cycle continues. Most times they won’t even tell a younger man their failures, so the younger men are going to repeat the pain of low self-esteem. Masculinity should make a man confident not jittery. Do you realize a man is a leader in a relationship? Men should go for exactly what they want. Don’t assume anything and never try.

A. Guys: It depends on what you mean by low class, a man prefers a woman with a good heart to ‘a woman of high class’ who is hot-tempered and no humility, a woman who is only good on the outside. Ever since there is this thing called feminism it has always been women’s world against men’s, have you come to ask yourself why there are more widows than widowers? Our men are dying in silent just because they married one bad woman who doesn’t give him the peace of mind he hopes to get as a married man. Speaking of ‘women of high class’, a man chooses to marry out of love, he supports his wife’s political career and she becomes successful, all of a sudden she’s now a ‘woman of high class’ and start to treat her husband like a low class, later she divorces her husband, this is a real life experience.

Q. Ladies: It pains us women, so we want to begin a sensitization to save just a negligible percentage, so we don’t waste a whole generation.

A. Guys: Good luck to that…

Q. Ladies: More men who know what they want need to rise for Africa to rise. The trend we see is more male fail across the world and the rise and rise of single motherhood and children without love and no father-role models.

A. Guys: Whatever choice a man makes as regards to who he chooses as his wife is what he wants and not whatever you choose otherwise for him, when it comes to matters of the heart nobody make a choice for anyone as to whom they want to spend the rest of their lives with. And as for your choice of good and resourceful/women of high class, it’s a man’s choice of whom he chooses. A woman can be highest of all classes, have all the college degrees, have all the moneys and all the achievements in the world that every woman can only dream about having, but if she doesn’t truly recognize that a man is positioned to be the head, then she is not worthy to be a wife. A man should value his peace of mind and be contended with what he has. I think there are fewer men than women; it’s not about rise and rise of single motherhood, men are just limited. And we urge you women to stop selling these girls’ scout cookie ideas of men knowing what they want before they start causing more harm than good.

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