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Tuesday, June 5, 2018

My Mum Forced Me To Live With A Soldier Who Am Not Married To, When I Rallied He Kidnapped Both My Son And My Man


Dear Admin,

I write to you with a heavy heart, not to see if you can solve my problem but to get my story out to the world to see so that everyone will understand what I have been experiencing throughout my life time...

I wasn’t born the way I am, I was sick when I was 2 and my mum took me to hospital for treatment and a nurse gave me an expired injection on my right butt and from that day my right leg became disabled. I grew up becoming deformed on my right leg, from that day life has become a living hell for me.

Everyone I know has been treating me like cancer including my own mother because of my condition. I am the first born child and the first daughter out of five, 4 girl and 1 boy. Even though I am the first child my mother treats me as the last, she values my younger siblings more than me as if I am the cause of my condition. My mother never allows me to go out and any time I go out she will call me on the phone and starts yelling and ask me to come back home that I am not supposed to leave the house, left for her she always wants me locked up in the house and she still beats me up at even at 29 years old, but she treats my younger ones with respect.

5 years ago I gave birth to a boy for a military soldier, who is an alcoholic and abusive, he beats me up at any slightest opportunity; this is a relationship that my mother pushed me into because she wanted me to give birth. She knew that the man is abusive and also knew the sufferings that I was going through at the hands of this man yet she still insisted I stay with him.

He only made promise to my mother that he will marry my five years ago or whatever deal he made with my mother on my head that I don’t know about and that was it, he has never married me since then, he only uses me as his sex toy. He will keep me in his house and go out because he is not so comfortable to let me go out with him, I will remain at home to clean, wash, cook for him, when he gets back at night he eats and hops on top of me to get his sexual urge out, when he’s satisfied he comes down and sleeps off, he never says a word to me and I dare not provoke him that day because he will beat me up and also beat up my son, tomorrow he continues in the same cycle and he will never care to know how I was doing or his son.

There was a day he was beating my son in my presence, I couldn’t stand the sight of him flogging my little boy with belt, I fought him with my last strength that day I unleashed the beast inside of me that I never thought I had, I poured fuel on his car that he cared so much about and threatened to set it on fire if he laid one more hand on my boy again, and that was how he stopped beating him. I might accept him beat me to some extent but when it comes to my son I cannot allow it. He will bring in different women into the house and be sleeping with them as often as he likes and I dare not say a word or I receive humiliations and beatings of my life. I have anticipated committing suicide many times and in many ways but just for the sake of my son I have still been going.

One day I ran away from his house and back to my family house with my son, I told my mother everything that happened but my mother insists I go back there. She says that no one will marry me because of my condition and that the soldier is a God sent to me and an opportunity to stay in a relationship and she forced me to go back to him and this time I decided to stand my ground. I have left him since 2 months now and he has never looked for me, though my mother has told him where I was but he has never came looking for me yet she still wants me back there.

My mother has never been a fan of any of her daughter’s man beating or humiliating her daughter but my own case is so different, sometimes I wonder if she is my mother, if my father isn’t late I probably wouldn’t have experience half of all these humiliations that I have experienced.

The past 2 months I have been in my family house I met this guy Fred on social media who has been a very nice gentleman, he knows my condition yet he still choses to be nice to me. I don’t think that what he feels for me is sexual but I have never felt this appreciated before in my life because every guy I have ever known just wants to sleep with me and dump me the next day. Not that if Fred wants sex from me that I would not have given it to him or he hasn’t gotten the perfect timing to ask, but he has just been a perfect gentleman. He knows my story and he has been so brave and trying to make me feel happy again, I have never felt this alive since I became conscious of myself.

Since my mother found out about Fred and I, it has been episodes of drama, one night my mother and I had a serious fight over Fred’s matter, the fight was so intense that things got smashed in the house, neighbors had to come and separate us. She told that I will either go back to the father of my son’s house or I must leave her house, I accepted to leave the house but I stood my grounds that I was never going to be anyone’s punching bag anymore, I didn’t sleep in that house that night I had to pass the night at a neighbor’s house.

The next morning as my mother went to work, I came home and packed both my things and my son’s things and we both left the house, Fred was ready to accommodate me and my son so we moved in with Fred who lived at the next city in the town. Fred has been very supportive since I and my son moved in with him but I didn’t want to be too much burden to him so I took up a menial job at a dry gin factory where I worked shifts so I can save up some money and rent my own apartment.

One day I came home and discovered that Fred and my son were both missing, Fred’s phone was switched off. I alerted the neighbors and we searched everywhere but couldn’t find them. I finally discovered that it was the military man that sent some armed off duty military officers on plain clothes and they kidnapped them both, this operation was carried out with my mother who showed them where Fred lives. The following morning I went to the military man’s house I met my son in a really bad shape, he has been crying all night to see his mother and his eyes were swollen. I asked about Fred but he refused to show me where he was, he said I should forget about him.

Meanwhile I immediately moved in with the military man so as to secure Fred’s release, but after much pleading on Fred’s behalf, Fred was released 3 days later from a military cell where he was accused of kidnapping the military man’s son, he was battered and was told to stay away from us. I felt really bad that my Fred had to go through all that, the only guy that mattered in my life. Now I feared that he would even want to ever speak to me again let alone allow me to see him, of course he stopped answering my calls and I couldn’t eat for days, my only thought was ‘Is Fred really ok?’.

After 1 week of the incident I sneaked to visit Fred at his house but Fred has already gone and no one seemed to know where Fred lives now, he has changed his line and has moved on. Till today I still live with him in his house. Fred was the only man that showed me real love that a woman in my condition has never felt. I cannot breathe without smelling Fred, now my heart is heavy and am drowning; my life has never been the same. Please tell me what I should do.

Dear Chi,

Am sorry you had to experience all those predicament, but sometimes our parents add more to our problems than they ever solve, in this case your mother has caused you more harm than good but she will obviously think that she’s doing what’s best for you, If what’s best for you doesn’t add up to your happiness, then that thing is not best for you. Just take it a step at a time, I believe that Fred will still cross your path again or someone else like Fred. Just a little patience and faith and you will have a course to smile again. My heart reaches out to you dear and to every other woman experiencing the same agony as you, there is light at the end of every tunnel. Good luck…….

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