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Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Chronicles: Ifeoma Later Found Me But Her Marriage Is In 2 Weeks, Yet She Still Wants Me To Marry Her. Please Advice Me



Dear Splendour,

I met Ifeoma in NYSC camp during our youth service in Kebbi state, Ifeoma is a black beauty, six inches tall with those sexy legs and she is from a royal family in some town in Enugu state.

She recognized me when she first saw me in the camp, we used to attend the same JAMB lesson center back in the days in Enugu. So immediately we became friends in the camp.

When we were through with camp it was time for our place of primary assignment, immediately I managed to secure a place to do my primary assignment and also a room and palour self-contained apartment inside the state’s capital (Benin Kebbi), while Ifeoma was still trying to figure out the strange city. When she heard that I have gotten an apartment she moved in with me. So throughout our service months that was how we lived together.

During our staying together was a very remarkable moment for us, we lived as couple, we played all kinds of love games, the sexting was heavenly. Ifeoma was so addicted to me that she wouldn’t want to be away from me for too long, she wouldn’t like to go anywhere without me. There would be days when we would remain in the house all day just chatting, eating, sexting and having fun, everything was so wonderful that infact the one year that we spent together seemed like just one month.

When our service was due it was time for me to go back to my state Ebonyi for job hunting, while Ifeoma has already secured a job at cooperate affairs commission Jos, through her uncle who is now a senator. When it was time to leave, she was filled with tears and we couldn’t let go of each other that day was dramatic, Ifeoma later moved to Jos while I went back to Abakaliki.

Ifeoma never stopped ringing my phone day and night asking me to move over to Jos that she had found a nice apartment where we can settle down and start live together. Apparently I gave it a deep thought and I figured it could be a big mistake if I eventually moved to Jos to settle down with her. My mind was filled with all kind of stuffs;

Firstly, I don’t have a job so moving to Jos to settle down with a girl like Ifeoma who has a job and from a wealthy family (I could only see her dominating my life).

Secondly, back then during our living together in Kebbi state Ifeoma over-made me humble and caring, she never lifted a finger to do anything in the house. We never cooked in the house so I would buy food from a restaurant and come home to spoon-feed Ifeoma, the only thing left for me to do was to wash her clothes because she practically did nothing in the house

I never complained because I loved her company and didn’t want anything to ruin the moments we both enjoyed. She would say that her father does those things for her mother and she finds it romantic, so that got me to question myself “if I marry her and suddenly stop doing those things, it means quarrel would start setting in” I wouldn’t risk it.

Months went by and my phone never stopped buzzing of Ifeoma’s calls, this time she had already started mounting pressure on me to come and marry her. The pressure was much that I had to switch my SIM from my phone. It all happened 3 years ago, we never saw or heard from each other again since then.

Just last week as I was driving out of our compound in Abakaliki, I heard a lady on a byke at the opposite side of the road shout my name, as I looked to see who it was, lo and behold! It was Ifeoma. I was so surprised at the sight of her, she exited the byke and joined me in the car. She looked deep into my eyes and burst into tears. “Three years it has been you haven’t spoken to me, what happened to your phone?” I had to lie to her that my phone got lost along with her contact and everything. She told me that she had been looking for me for the past 2 years.

It appeared that after she worked a year in Jos she worked her transfer to Ebonyi state hoping to find me by bumping into me someday, since she couldn’t reach me on phone anymore. She had no relatives in Ebonyi, neither did she know anyone in that state. She searched for me for 2 years and now unfortunately she is already getting married in in 2 weeks’ time to a guy in Lagos. She cried profusely and told me that she still loves me and she offered to leave the guy if I promise to marry her.

As I write to you today I am filled with regrets of not accepting to move to Jos with her when she was requesting, to be honest I think am seriously considering her offer to marry her. I have looked forward to meeting a girl that comes from the moon and all these years I have found that there is no such thing; you only have to make your woman into what you want her to become.

I am more willing than ever before to settle down with Ifeoma even though her marriage is in like 2 weeks and I think I got to act fast. Please Splendour, I need your advice here, what do you think I should do?

Finally I will like to use this opportunity to thank you and commend you for the good job you are doing with your blog, you founded this blog as a means to take care of few people’s needs but today it has almost grown into a house hold name. I pray that the good LORD will see you through in all your endeavors.
…… Ek, Abj

Dear Ek,
Wow what a story! In everything you said I never read anywhere that says that you love or loved Ifeoma. Well it might be that you don’t love her enough to follow her up or that your ego is too extended to admit you did love her. But let’s pretend you forgot to indicate whether or not you loved her.

Now come to think of your reasons for not accepting her offer at first, a lot of women always make that mistakes and never think that their man will be seeing it as part of their short-comings, whereas it might be youth exuberance or it might just be her being herself around you as a result of her falling in love with you and she might not have that intention to dominate you as you would think. Women can do a lot of crazy thing to and for their man when they are in love, and this might happen to be just one of those.

She loved you enough to work her transfer to your state where she doesn’t know your address and how to find you nor anyone who knows you, she worked that transfer with nothing but the hope of running into you someday, and such things are rare in a relationship that when you find such, you take it under advisement. And since she’s offering to back out of her marriage coming up in 2 weeks if you accept to marry her means she’s still crazy about you more than marriage itself.

My advice to you is to search your heart, if you know you truly love her and want to be with her then you should make a move because life is too short to live it in regrets, but if you know that you are still having doubts or will still have doubts in the future, please just let her go because this is a very delicate moment for her right now. Good luck…

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